


2003

by SmittyWerbenjagermanjensen



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 17:58:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmittyWerbenjagermanjensen/pseuds/SmittyWerbenjagermanjensen





	2003

Me and my girlfriend devin, who i had been dating for the last two years had broken up tonight. We were at Ruby Tuesdays and somehow the topic of colleges had come up.

The restaurant was dimly lit and the atmosphere felt like how a harmonious symphony sounded. We were both dressed in nicer clothing as it was considered one our more classy date spots.  
It wasn't as if the topic of college had never come up before but for some reason it seemed like there was a whole new energy around it for devin.

“I'm just saying that it would be long distance for two years at minimum, and the closer it gets the longer time that seems.” i couldn't tell what she was saying at first, or maybe it was just that i didn't want to.

“It wouldn't be that long distance were only going to be a state away from each other, not like were going to be on opposite sides of the country.”

“How would you know that for sure?” she kind of exploded at that moment, i could see all of this unspoken emotion in her eyes. Like she was confused and angry and sad all at the same time out of nowhere.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn't they be?

“ i didn't get into San Alberta, the letter came in the mail two days ago.”

“Devin, im so sorry, why didn't you tell me.” i meant it with grief in my heart. She was silent but there was something else in her eyes. Something more than sadness.

“ another letter came about a week ago, i did however get accepted into Connelly. Which is on the other side of the country.”

“You applied to other schools?” red flag one, not telling me about applying to other schools.

“ I'm sorry i didn't tell you, you were just so excited when we applied to ones so close. But it's not a time for sadness, i got to thinking, when we go to college its like its going to be a whole new beginning,” red flag two, i didn't want a whole new beginning, that would me only a part of her past.

“Wait-wait. New beginning? Are you trying to say something?” i had genuinely lost my appetite, while i wouldn't consider myself at the brink of tears i will acknowledge that my eyes were not bound to stay dry at that rate. My heart was pounding as i slowly connected the dots.

“ i don't know if we should do the long distance thing after we leave, andrew i love you but-” and red flag number three, she flat out told me that she will eventually at one point in the future break up with me.

“ but were going to break up? You love me, but your going to break up with me? Eventually?” i punctuated the last word with a stank face but could you blame me? The girl who i thought could maybe one day be my future wife, was breaking up with me, no wait, was telling me somewhere in the near future that we would be breaking up. How the fuck was i going to live with that?

“Yes! And you know i thought that we could talk about it like adults would but it seems like you want people to sit and stare at us like we're screaming children.”

“ let them stare. I love you. L-O-V-E Y-O-U and i would shout it from the rooftops, but i don't know if you would do the same.”

“I love you too, i really do but were kids andrew, and almost every single long distance relationship fails, i'm not saying ours would, im just saying we should become friends and wait until the times right again.” she had a pleading tone in her voice but to me it just felt like a game of negotiation, like she was compromising with me about our future, making me feel like the dumb one for not understanding.

“So what, you want to keep dating until next fall, and pretend like everything is totally normal? I don't think i can do that Devin, if were going to break up i'd rather just do it now.” the words felt hard and crisp like wood going into a woodchipper. Neither one of us said another word for the seconds following, i just tried to look at her one last time, studying her brown hair that she had gotten trimmed just yesterday, her brown eyes that now looked dark and filled with the same emotion i was feeling, and her cheeks that when flexed showed two dimples. I knew her and i knew that i had ended things with my words.

“Is that what you want?”

“I think it's the only option now to be honest.” i could have been wrong, a very tiny thought crossed my mind, what if by next fall we didn't want to break up and we did the long distance thing and this was just a memory we looked back on and laughed about. But that thought was so small and the reality that Devin was always true to her word promised me this. I couldn't go on like that hoping and i knew it.

“Are we still going to be friends?” she sniffled but never broke eye contact with me.

“Do you want to be?” i asked in an almost mocking way, i didn't mean to but, i had felt the adrenaline start to course through my veins and my heart was pounding so fast that i could barely hear what i was saying myself. She finally looked down at her hands with a frown.

“I don't think that's an option anymore, to be honest.” she was strong like steel and i respected that about her, but i was weak like a piece of wood from walmart that you buy to make a bookshelf, almost as thin as cardboard, and it felt like she had cut me.

I looked at our food and realized that i was going to have to pay for all of it, and then drive her home, which would be an extremely awkward car trip.

And it was, the radio was off the entire time, not once did we look at eachother.

As i pulled up to her house it was a good 15 seconds before she moved. I was not going to ask her to get out but i really wanted to know what she hadn't unbuckled her seatbelt yet. So i looked over at her to find her staring back at me with a frown and almost tearful eyes. I hadn't forgotten that i wasn't the only one impacted by this, but i had been so consumed by my own feelings that i briefly forgot that i wasn't the only one losing something.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked it so soft, her voice light as a feather, like it might break my ears if it were any louder.

“Yeah, just give it some time, i don't hate you, and i don't think i ever could.” she didn't even pretend to smile.

 

“Okay.” she looked down at my lips for a moment but i turned my head forward, i couldn't do that right now. She unbuckled her seatbelt, opened her door and got out of the car. “Bye”

“Goodbye” i replied as she closed the door, i couldn't even tell if she heard me. But truthfully it didn't matter. I pulled into a 7/11 and got a blue raspberry slushie, i hated blue raspberry anything but both the other flavors were broken.

As i sat in my car silently drinking the slushie i contemplated what had happened. I watched as person after person went in and out of the store and realized that i didn't want to be alone right now. The silence in the car had never been louder. There was someone i felt a strong urge to talk to at the moment.

Romona.

Coworker.

One of my close friends.

There had been a time when i very briefly thought about the possibility of cheating on Devin with her.

We had a strange relationship, but she would cheer me up.

You up?

I felt shitty sending the text at such a late hour, i knew she would be up though.

u betcha

Want to hang out

Its like 11

Yeah i know sorry me and devin just broke up

you want to pick me up and we can grab some taco bell

It didn't matter that i had already eaten.

Be there in 15


End file.
